Revelations
Found a copy of revelations online and decided to do some reading. I'd been led to believe(I think it was by one of those godawful 'Left Behind' things) that Jesus starts turning people inside out at one point- imagine my disappointment. He does kill people with a big sword that comes out of his mouth though, which was quite good. And he seemed like such a nice guy.
Its all pretty dramatic, the seven seals being broken and all that. Everytime one gets broken something horrible happens like an earthquake or something. Then, once the seventh seal is broken, heaven's brass section starts laying down some improvisational jazz. Blood and hail and fire fall from the skies-a third of the creatures in the sea die, to their considerable relief I should imagine. Then the sixth angel pull off one hell of a saxophone solo which results a third of mankind dying with fire, smoke and sulfur coming out of their mouths.
All this is seen from the point of view of John, who, while sleeping off a hearty mushroom dinner, received the revelations. At one point he says he was 'quite astonished'.
Its an interesting read. I think I've possibly found a plausible reason for Christians to vote for George Bush, as well. I'd always wondered why they did, I mean his policies are hardly Jesus-like, you know, killing everyone and so forth, denying healthcare to the meek. I'm wondering if maybe they think he's the antichrist. The antichrist is supposed to be a political figure who takes over the world, creating a global economic/imperial hegemony while pretending to be a Christian. He's also backed up by a 'false prophet'. Pat Robertson maybe? All this has to happen before Jesus can do his reverse sword swallowing trick and kill everyone. So maybe that's why they like him in power.
Or, more likely, they're just idiots.
Its all pretty dramatic, the seven seals being broken and all that. Everytime one gets broken something horrible happens like an earthquake or something. Then, once the seventh seal is broken, heaven's brass section starts laying down some improvisational jazz. Blood and hail and fire fall from the skies-a third of the creatures in the sea die, to their considerable relief I should imagine. Then the sixth angel pull off one hell of a saxophone solo which results a third of mankind dying with fire, smoke and sulfur coming out of their mouths.
All this is seen from the point of view of John, who, while sleeping off a hearty mushroom dinner, received the revelations. At one point he says he was 'quite astonished'.
Its an interesting read. I think I've possibly found a plausible reason for Christians to vote for George Bush, as well. I'd always wondered why they did, I mean his policies are hardly Jesus-like, you know, killing everyone and so forth, denying healthcare to the meek. I'm wondering if maybe they think he's the antichrist. The antichrist is supposed to be a political figure who takes over the world, creating a global economic/imperial hegemony while pretending to be a Christian. He's also backed up by a 'false prophet'. Pat Robertson maybe? All this has to happen before Jesus can do his reverse sword swallowing trick and kill everyone. So maybe that's why they like him in power.
Or, more likely, they're just idiots.
posted by Ben at 1:22 pm
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