Nietzsche, monsters, armageddon...

I'm reading Beyond Good and Evil, hoping to inspire myself somehow. I think I may have bitten off more than I can chew this time, I'm not getting everything that's for sure. I'll have to read it over and over again. But I am a little bit inspired.
I'm worried about turning into a monster, seeing as I've been grappling with them all my life. Psychological monsters, you understand. I used to be overwhelmed by some very dark thoughts, generally pertaining, in various ways, to the end of the world. I seriously worried about aliens for a while. Funny how a lot of things that used to terrify me now seem strangely appealing. There is an excellent book by Phillip K. Dick called Dr Bloodmoney, set in a post apocalyptic world. Its one of his most optimistic in many ways, I think that its about ordinary people being able to rise to greatness given the opportunity; in this case, a nuclear war. It ends with an image of people beginning to live their lives again, building up a new society, and you want to be a part of it. Or at least I did. Then again, I suppose nuclear armageddon has its bad side too.
"And when you gaze long into an abyss the abyss also gazes into you."
God I'm depressed.