Several Unfortunate Thoughts

Yes.
I've been thinking in the bath. Normally I read but today I decided to think, oh dear. Wondering if there's a link between low self esteem and intense love. Because what you really yearn for are the parts of you that are missing, and you see them in someone else and oops, you're done for. And so much is missing. Or suppressed, if you believe Jung. Good stuff and bad. Possibly why nice women always seem to go for total fuckwits. Damn movies and TV, they never warned me. Not that I paid any attention to that romantic shite. Yes, when you think you're pathetic, falling in love with someone you can't have makes you feel like a tragic and romantic figure rather than the fairly dull and ordinary person you are. That's why its so hard to shake. This isn't about me by the way. Its about...a friend of mine...yes.
Also, I had a dream...a tornado came hammering down from the sky, so I ran into my house but it got in through a crack in the window and tore the place up. Apparently when you dream about being in a building the building sometimes symbolizes your mind. This does not bode well.
Finally-I was down recently, down down down. And I looked up at the sky and I fixed on this really bright star and I felt a surge of confidence, optimism, just a feeling that everything would work out ok. Since then I've been looking up at this star almost every night. Then I remembered that the brightest thing in the night sky apart from the moon is Venus. Goddess of love, geddit? And for the past couple of nights its been glowing red for some reason. I've never seen it do that before. the end